la folie à deux

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The music in my headphones ... coffee in my favorite cup. Do you have  your favorite cup? Perhaps someone gifted  to you this cup ... someone special or not much...
'Special'  ...
'Special' What's makes it like this, made by whom and how?You live, you meet each other every day.. And once you say 'you are my special mate'.
What is it actually? Is it your internal reasons, free from someone else, only you and all? Or?
Or it's just because something pushing you from outside?
Or is this a momentary weakness, madness? But  something else it is just to following to the script. And we all just play by rules? Well who is referee then? Coz I have some questions.
I play outside of the rules constantly. I cross borders. I am remote from the field player often. They say: Do not be an idiot! Don't argue! They say: Surrender! Do it like everyone, and go with all of us by  the well-known way. But how can I find my 'special' on this way?
I know that you are also not playing by the rules. And that the chances are negligible.
But you are somewhere on your own way. It's one of millions reasons why I call you 'special'
I know.. even if it's just la folie à deux ... No I hope that it's our la folie à deux



Grem 

Love is like symptom

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How do you find out that you are in  love?
What is the mechanism?Gosh, I am discussing as robotic version of homo sapiens.
Well, the state "this is not love" is known to many people. Especially, I 'admire' people who (of course, the best of intentions) advise the friend's in-love-heart.
Especially something from this category: "What are you doing? You have to finish your education, to become independent. It's not right time for your 'love'". Or this: "What's wrong with your brains? Are they dry absolutely? You are married, you have two kids! You have more responsibilities than desires!"
Or, these age-old attempts to call for common sense, drowning everything in the ocean of guilt.
Do they believe that guilt - this is the correct way? Unfortunately, I conclude that most marriages do not hold on to love, but on to the guilt basis.
I can not deny the fact that this tool is very cruel.
And still how do you find out that you are in  love?
It happens in seconds, or the process of insight is delayed for many years?
Often we wander in the wrong direction.
Or "outgrow" our relationship.
Our loved-one person is as an environment in which we are changing. The question is: we become ourselves, or we become those they want to see?
Perhaps the answer to this question is correlated with the duration of relationships directly.
Love is like symptom.
I can not explain this fact, but today love is perceived as a symptom of weakness.
Not for all... but for some ppl.

Love moved to the Internet, it has become a smiley face at chat line.
Love simply migrated to the concept. No specific attitude, no sense. no action (in live form), there is only a concept.
And still how do you find out that you are in  love?
It is really very similar to the infection. The organism is literally sick. But in this case, with metastases to the soul. (It's not my phrase, I somewhere read it.)
And if you're lucky, you (with your soulmate) you'll be 'sick' the rest of your life.
And the main symptom for me - it's a hell of a desire to live next to someone you love and who loves you.

Grem

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time-flask

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Let me keep it, keep it in my heart, please do not rebuke me with this.
If it were possible, I would have kept this point in turbid time-flask. Only for me.
Not for anyone in this reality.
I would have kept it from my jealousy, from my imperfections. Just when you're near from me, I'm getting better.

I can make everything, but ... with you I'm powerless.
I can not tame you. I can not make you be my property and to dispose you.
All I can - it's distance.
It destroys me endlessly.
And a turbid prism of time

Grem

De Mi

De mi

Nunca había sentido algo así, la vida me mantuvo siempre en paz. Llegaste a abrir las puertas del dolor y a regalar la soledad. Tu piel envenenó mi corazón, dejándome en completa oscuridad. Y así en lugar de olvidarte yo te fui queriendo mucho más. Y ahora estás aquí viéndome sufrir. Dime como debo hacer para olvidarme de tus besos y sacarte para siempre de mi... de mi... de mi... de mi... Lo supe en el momento en que te vi, quererte iba a dolereme de verdad. Pero volví a mirarte y comprendí, que iré contigo hasta el final. Y ahora estás aquí viéndome sufrir. Dime como debo hacer para olvidarme de tus besos y borrar tu nombre de mi... de mi... de mi... de mi... Intenté alejarme, no pensarte más, no pensarte más. Me dolió entragarme como nunca lo hice jamás. De mi... de mi... de mi... de mi... Grem

Why This Kolaveri Di

Enjoy :)



Grem

Трындеть - не мешки ворочать или особенности предвыборных лозунгов

Во первых строках моего сообщения, позвольте мне всех Вас поприветствовать.
Много, я думаю, вы начитаны тем, какими заоблачно прекрасными должны быть дни в за-2012,  особенно для МВД сотрудников и даже пенсионеров. На Армию, как Они говорят, нам ничего не жаль.
И повелись, поверили многие, начали перешептываться, пересказывая друг другу свои мечты, которые может быть будут сбываться в Новом году: отдать ребенка в хорошую школу, отправить стареньких и больных родителей отдохнуть на море, самому подлечиться, сменить машину, выплатить кредит, перестать брать взятки, потому что заработной платы будет хватать.
Да, согласна, с последним пунктом я несколько идеализировала, но, все же, хочется мне надеяться, что есть люди, которые берут взятки вынужденно, даем то мы их однозначно вынужденно.
Но... слишком многое видели мы за эти 10 лет, бесспорно, многое изменилось, и кое-что в лучшую сторону. Но, по сути, ничего кардинально. Если завтра кончится лес, газ и нефть - наступит конец света в отдельно взятом царстве-государстве, которое пяткой себя в грудь долбит, говоря о снижении налоговой ставки, поголовном увеличении пенсий, о сохранении пенсионного возраста, то есть о его неувеличении, о том, что 300 тысяч человек получили жилье, о том, что нищих не существует и подобное.
Но вот, пример, сегодня мои родители пришли домой с работы, они без пяти минут пенсионеры, оба - военные, отдали много лет военной службе, и не для галочки, не за погоны, а по-честному, с отдачей. И что же происходит? А происходит следующее - с 1 января 2012 года каждый из моих родителей будет получать заработную плату меньше примерно на 2000 рублей.
Пришел официальный приказ МинОбороны, кроме того, исходя из того же приказа, пенсия так же будет уменьшена, индексирована не в пользу пенсионера. Разъяснения по приказу были сделаны доступно и вполне официально на уровне учреждения.
И что мы будем и дальше горланить о том, что военные будут зарабатывать 50000 и 100000 рублей?

MuzTV

Уровень неприкрытого бесстыдства власть руководящих исполнителей меня не просто поражает, но отравляет изнутри. Насколько нужно потерять всякий человеческий облик, чтобы столь открыто врать с экранов, обещая невозможное? Насколько текущая партия уверена в том, что все будет "проглочено" и "пережевано" и пусть с трудом но "переварено"?
Сколько ещё мы будем терпеть и ждать, что все само рассосется?

Grem
     

Obsession

What attracts you to people?

External data? Height, weight, eye color? Tone of voice, perhaps?

The dimension of the bank account?

Of course, are important factors.

But ... they rarely are at the heart.

Source

The really crazy people attract us.

Grem

coming out of the closet

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Well, let's talk about IT :) Do you feel comfortable in your skin? Everyday?
I would argue that I know the answer. I know, I'll hate it too when someone speaks for me.
You know, in the format: "Yes, you do not understand me" or "Yes, you already know".
And I do not know about you, but I feel myself like imbecile in those moments.
So, if I was denied the right to vote and opinion. By the way, I hate when I'm limited in my right to express my opinion.
And in the net too. But ... sometimes it happens. And  I think that the Internet community  is one big vanity fair.
A well-known (sad fact to me) that the negative attention is attention too. Would you like to draw attention to yourself or to what you say or write? Say : "Fuck you all". This simple rule used by most Internet users.
Of course, women are in a better position than men. They just can take off their bra and take pictures or post video on YouTube.
As a friend of mine said: "Boobs are guilty of all sins". Woman less idealizes the separate bodies, she tend to eats whole person.
So that, my dear, a fetish is an invention of men and for men.




Grem

Radar

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Often I can not explain the reasons why this is happening. Sometimes I tune in to the wave of a specific person.
As if the source is in it, but  universal receiver is in me . I have no control over it. It comes and goes independently of me. This is very similar to when you are driving in the car and change the radio wave. But in this case I'm not driver. And it's not me who press the button.
Well...
For example, when your life as you think, goes awry. Monotony of what is happening around you ...  it is a frightening reality. And you know one treatment it is trip, travel.
You find the more romantic sense in  your escape from reality. Other countries, cities and culture. This helps you to get lost.
But at the same time, you are required to comply with obligations to partners, colleagues, in a word, the obligations to other people.
And the rules of this game ... You play by the rules, despite the fact that you are sick of what is happening. For example, the official evening. You need to be there. You should meet with certain people. You have to enchant and amaze.
Standing in front of a mirror at home,  look at youself, but you're afraid to look into your own eyes, because you know  what exactly you'll see there. Or with loved ones... but it's other story


Grem

Generations of women

This is long pause in my posts and another long pause in my heart. You know, as if the rhythm was broken. Generally speaking, I come to the conclusion that we should avoid 'as usual' positions.
When you get used to anything, then this is the first step to make loose it.
But not about it.

A couple of days ago we talked (with my mom) about sacrifice. Frankly, I do not like this word, as well as the concept. No sacrifice in a relationships, it is my  belief .
Somehow I  disturbing to my family that I am not married. Strange for me to get married just because I should do it. It is also strange to have children just because I should. In relation to children it is not only strange but also cruelly. It is generally accepted that the parental instinct awakens in you as soon as you take the baby in your arms. This is nonsense. Most films with a tearful melodramatic endings are the tools for maintain the fiction of social significance of moment. Women should not become a mother as a result of mental or physical abuse. From my point of view, the mother - this is not a social role, and not the position in the global corporation, this is a state of mind, the way of the senses. It is impossible to wake up as mother one morning.
Physiologically - definitely yes. You will have a certificate which will be written "Mother." But what changes?
Why  today do women give birth later in life? This is not a fixation on a career, as is commonly assumed.
Quite simply, we have a lot of the older generation of women, our mothers and grandmothers, aunts, etc who have became mothers by 'coincidence'. Today's generation is sated by sacrifices.
Finding conventional balance in life - this is the only solution.
I do not think it is a high degree of manifestation of fatherly feelings when a parent gives a child to understand what was laid on the altar of his upbringing.
Is This self-justification of failure as a parent or as a professional?
New generation of women is not mad in they feminist ecstasy. No.
I dare to hope for more meaningful actions; and no more the sacrificial scaffold for other's strange notions of 'right things'.


Grem