24 jan B'Day

January 24, 1980 it's just a date, I think sometimes

But it's my Birth Day (and it's not simple date for me)

Have you ever thought about the fact that as soon as we begin to feel something,  putting our own emotions inside of ...,everything is changing at the same time?

A piece of the colored glass in the sand...well probably it's the greatest treasure you've ever had.

And your heart beats sloooower now, when you choose a diamonds jewellry somewhere in one of the boutiques Dubai Mall.

And the bike of the nextdoor boys excite you much more than Ferrari now.

Suddenly someone invades into your life, someone like your shadow, as a twin, which you did not know before, who feels and understands you very well... even when you are not understood yourself yet.

Yes, everything changes, nothing stays the same.

Is it happens with you guys when you sit down to write one idea, and then it falls away from you, like water through your hands?

Sometimes it happens I do not notice the time what I spent writing.

Sometimes everything is absolutely terrible ... and these changing of ideas  ... from inferences about  riding bareback to problems of an uranium enrichment.

Recently, I remembered one of very powerful experience.
Have you ever fainted?
I think yes ..
I clearly remember every second
This is feeling of vast emptiness. This is  an absolute vacuum.
I felt myself like a small point, a microbe.
No direction, no time, no space, nothing is there... and inside of that "nothing is there" I AM.
It's hard to explain .. but this experience gave me the understanding that I - is not the volume of the chest or eye color or tone of voice ...
The feeling that I exist independently of all of this, inside and outside at the same time.
An immensity shrank to the size of a small tube.
Light ... sound ... feeling ...

Grem